The Weirdest Advice Given To Pregnant Women. Ever.
Rihanna by Inez van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin for 032C Magazine
Something that seems to happen immediately when a woman becomes pregnant is that everyone around her suddenly becomes an expert. From mother-in-laws to random strangers on the street, everyone has an opinion on what a pregnant woman should and should not do.
While some advice may actually hold merit, it’s nearly impossible to give any kind of personal advice to pregnant woman. Why? Well besides every pregnancy being different (what might have been true or worked for one pregnant woman could be the complete opposite for another), it’s also none of your G-damn business. There. We said it.
So if you’ve ever felt the annoying pressure of being earnestly told some well-meaning but seriously misplaced advice while pregnant, just know that you’re not alone. In fact, we decided to poll all the mommy groups we’ve been blessed to join as of late, for some of their worst advice received just to prove it. Enjoy….
“Don’t look at a solar eclipse or it will give the baby horrible defects. I looked by the way, and the baby was fine.”
“If you look at pictures of cute babies when you are pregnant, it will make your baby cuter.”
“The beginning of my pregnancy was very tough. I was throwing up constantly and my hormones were out of whack. Because of this I would cry a lot. My mother-in-law told me that every time I cry, the baby cries too. And the more I cry, the more the baby will cry when she is born...”
“Someone told me that if I didn’t eat what I was craving, the shape of that food would appear on my baby as a birthmark! If that’s the case, my baby would have come out with the Starbucks logo all over his body... ”
“If you drink caffeine during pregnancy, your baby will have an addiction.”
“Don’t have your son circumcised. That alone isn’t really weird advice. But the fact that it was told to me by a complete stranger on social media was. It’s like, how about you worry about the penises in your life and I’ll worry about the penises in my life, K?”
“Keep your hair short or a strand of hair might wrap around your son’s penis and turn him into a girl!”
“Don’t eat okra because it will stick in your stomach, which in turn, will make your baby stick to the uterus and never come out!”
“This one really made me laugh! I’m a runner and was cleared to run through pregnancy, as long as I could carry on a conversation - and someone told me I was going to cause shaken baby syndrome. ”
“I was told that I’m not allowed to be mad, or my son will come out with colic! Let me tell you, I was mad a LOT. And he did not have colic! Ha! ”
“Don’t make mashed potatoes when you’re pregnant. They’re too difficult to cut, and the water is too hot for the baby.”
“A random woman told me in a coffee shop that the saliva of a pregnant woman is a cure for everything. I was also told on a different occasion by a family member that if you are outside during a lunar eclipse, the baby will get a cleft lip.”
“Eat citrus fruits to make your baby smarter. ”
“Sleep all you can during pregnancy - as if you could stockpile it all!! ”
A Thoughtful Misfit is a woman who doesn't fit in boxes - from how she dresses, to the way she lives, to the way she chooses to mother and to love…